


Leslie Knope's Guide To Not Sleeping With Ben Wyatt

by SakuraBlossomStorm



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: College AU, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-15 00:27:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14780153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SakuraBlossomStorm/pseuds/SakuraBlossomStorm
Summary: Rule one, don't answer his calls. Rule two, don't invite him in. Rule three, don't be friends with him. Rule four, definitely don't sleep with him.Leslie's made up rules for her to stop herself from sleeping with Ben again. Just follow them and it should be easy, right?





	Leslie Knope's Guide To Not Sleeping With Ben Wyatt

**Author's Note:**

> A new AU that I probably won't finish! 
> 
> I've wanted to write a fuckbuddy/college AU for a really long time, my first attempt didn't go well, but then Dua Lipa's 'New Rules' happened, and it all kind of fell into place. 
> 
> This is based on Dua Lipa's great song, New Rules. 
> 
> Please don't forget to comment and kudos.

The first time it happened she couldn’t quite believe it.

Leslie woke to the sound of vibrating. She groaned as she reached a hand out blindly from her blankets and grabbed her cell phone.

The bright light of the morning hurt her eyes as she stared at her phone. The first thing she noticed was that it was almost 9am. She’d overslept. Not that she had anywhere to go today, but she was usually up at 6am, even on the weekends.

The next thing she noticed, was eight missed calls and four texts from Ann. Frowning, Leslie unlocked her phone and scanned through the messages.

_You need to pick up your phone!!_

_CALL ME, KNOPE!!!!_

_Fine, you’re probably hungover. But as soon as you wake up, call me!!_

_I want to know all the details about Ben!_

Ben? Leslie’s brow furrowed. Why would Ann want to know about Ben Wyatt? That jerky guy in her history major. The guy who always interrupted her when she was given a valid point in class. The guy who always seemed to beat her out on grades. What relevance did he have with their night out?

Then, Leslie felt something shift next to her, and her stomach lurched.

No. This wasn’t happening.

Gulping nervously, she turned over, and almost threw up. 

There, tangled up in her blankets and shirtless, was Ben Wyatt.

He stirred and wrinkled his nose. Slowly, his eyes opened and Leslie watched as he adjusted to the light with a few disgruntled noises.

Finally, he locked eyes on Leslie, and his mouth dropped open.

“Good lord,” he mumbled, and all Leslie could do was nod.

“Yep,” she whispered back.

~~

JJ’s Diner was pretty packed by the time they arrived, but managed to slide into a booth in the corner where no one would see them. Leslie had lazily tied her hair into a limp ponytail, and dressed in her Indiana State sweats. Ben was incredibly pale and kept rubbing his cheeks with his hands. Leslie wasn’t sure which one of them was more hungover.

She ordered a plate of waffles and extra extra whipped cream, knowing it would help with her own hangover, while Ben just opted for black coffee. When the waitress bought over Leslie’s food, he squirmed and gagged.

“How can you be eating after last night?” Ben asked, coughing a few times and shifting away from the food.

“JJ’s waffles cure everything,” Leslie insisted, scooping off a chunk of whipped cream with her finger and sucking it off. She noticed Ben stop gagging and smirk at her, causing her to blush.

“So… last night,” Ben mumbled, taking a sip of his coffee. “Remember anything?”

Leslie exhaled. “All too well.”

She did remember. It took a while, but soon the basics slowly pieced together. She remembered watching Ben walk into the Snakehole Lounge, and how she immediately turned away from him, complaining to Ann that he was here. She remembered storming up to the bar where he was ordering his drink, and about to tell him how much she hated him, when she got lost in his brown eyes. And she certainly remembered the bartender yelling at them when they started making out so hard that they knocked some glasses on the floor.

She couldn’t remember any of their conversations, or what made her decide to throw caution to the wind and make out with him. But he must have done something right.

That or he tricked her or something… she was leaning towards that option.

But she didn’t feel terrible. She partly expected to feel gross and like she needed to shower for all eternity to scrub off the drunken shame that caused her to consensually give herself to Ben. But she felt fine. Hungover, sure, but fine all the same. There was a slight ache between her thighs, an ache that she knew meant that she must have had a good time last night.

Leslie’s eyes flickered up to Ben. “Do you remember?”

Ben slowly nodded. “Yeah. I do.”

They awkwardly sat in silence again, while Leslie finished his waffles and Ben drank his coffee. They both wanted to say something, to talk about last night. But they were both embarrassed. 

They were supposed to hate each other. A few days ago, Leslie was ranting to Ann about how much of a jerk he was. Ben had gotten a better mark than Leslie on a test, and like the stupid jerkface he was, he gloated about it, right in front of her.

Leslie finished the last of her waffles, and pushed the plate to the side, she opened her mouth to speak, to tell Ben that he didn’t have to feel obligated to hang around because they just had really great sex (she begrudgingly admitted it was good.) when suddenly.

“Yikes. You two look gross. Good idea getting a booth in the corner.”

Leslie and Ben both looked up nervously at the voice they recognised. Sure enough, in front of them, was Jen Barkley. Leslie knew her from debate team. Jen led the group sessions, helping them train for their next competition, and she and Ben got on pretty well. She once overheard Jen telling Ben that he’d be good enough for congress one day. What did she know? She was a senior, seniors didn’t know anything.

Jen’s eyes flickered between the two, and slowly she caught on. “Holy shit, you guys totally did it last night, didn’t you? That’s hilarious!”

Ben was rubbing his temples, trying to ease the headache he had. “Jen, can you please just keep this to yourself. It was a mistake.”

Ouch. Leslie quickly gulped down her coffee to try and get out of there as fast as possible.

Jen rolled her eyes at him. “Jesus. Whatever, but it’s not like you’re the only one. Everyone hooks up with everyone here.”

She tapped Ben’s shoulder and he jerked away. “Don’t forget we have practice today at 3. Do us all a favour and shower before you turn up?”

And she abruptly left, her perfectly styled curls bouncing as she walked away. Ben turned back to Leslie who scowled at him.

“It was a mistake, huh?”

Ben swallowed nervously. “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant… neither of us wanted this to happen. We don’t like each other, that’s our thing. Not this getting together stuff and feelings… it’s not.”

He picked his coffee cup back up. “It doesn’t mean that it wasn’t good though,” he said into his cup. It muffled slightly, but Leslie understood every word, and she felt her cheeks warm.

“It was pretty good,” Leslie mumbled back.

They both paid for their breakfast and stumbled back out into the crisp autumn air. Leslie shivered slightly and Ben stuffed his hands into his pockets.

“Well, see you around, I guess,” Ben said, giving her a half-hearted wave and walking down the path towards his dorm room.

Leslie just nodded. She had nothing more to say to him, hopefully that would be the end of that.

~~

The second time it happened, they’d just won a debate competition. 

It looked like they wouldn’t win, until Ben was the last up and ended up delivering an epic speech which led to their unsuspecting victory. Jen was so happy she even bought them all a round of shots.

“Drinks are on me tonight,” she announced, passing a shot to Leslie. She scowled and drank it quickly, letting the strong taste of tequila burn the back of her throat. It wasn’t fair. Her speech was just as good as Ben’s, maybe even better. It was just because he went last that cemented their victory. If she went last then the glory would be on her right now.

Her teammates would be patting her on the back and giving her hugs, as opposed to what Ben was receiving right now. 

She hadn’t spoken to him since they slept together, even during 

She grabbed her rum and coke from the bar and drank it as fast as the shot, then she signalled the bartender for another one. Once it arrived, she licked her lips, took another long sip for courage, and made her way over to Ben.

He was sat on a stool in the corner, surrounded by other members of their team. Shauna was hanging on to his every word and Barney was looking at him like he was some kind of God. It was gross.

Ben noticed Leslie walking towards him and he smirked. “I’ll catch up with you guys later, ok?” he said to Barney and Shauna. He then grabbed his beer and pushed himself off the stool.

“Let me guess,” he said once Leslie was in earshot. “You’re mad because I won the debate for everyone.”

“You didn’t _win_ the debate,” Leslie growled. “It just so happened that the order meant that you got to go last. Anyone who went last would be getting that attention.”

“But they aren’t,” Ben reminded her. “Because Jen organised it so that I’d go last. Because she knew I could give a killer speech and win for us.”

“Oh please,” Leslie scoffed. “Your speech was average at best. I wasn’t even listening. I was too busy concentrating on that annoying lip smacking thing you do. I’m amazed you weren’t marked down for just being annoying.”

Ben let out a low laugh. “Wow. And here I was about to tell you how much I actually liked your speech. But since we’re going into details about how we conduct ourselves, then I don’t care very much for the way you scowl whenever someone contradicts your points. It’s not very flattering.”

He laughed harder as Leslie screwed up her face. She balled her fist and flicked her hair back.

“I’m not going to sleep with you tonight.”

Ben snorted. “Noted. And I’m not going to sleep with you either.”

“Good. So don’t even try. I’m going to stand over there and you stay here.”

“Fine with me.”

“Fine!”

But they did. Ben fumbled with the lock on his door whilst holding Leslie close to him and kissing her neck. She moaned and ran her hand down the front of his pants.

“You’re making this kind of hard for me,” Ben groaned, still struggling with the lock to his dorm.

“Is that a euphemism?” 

“What? No! I mean I can’t unlock the door with you doing that,” Ben said, letting go of Leslie so that she could step out of his grasp.

“You’re the one kissing my neck,” she retorted. 

Ben ignored her and managed to unlock the door. “Just be quiet,” he told her, grabbing her hand and pulling her into his room.

“Just for the record,” Leslie said as Ben unceremoniously hooked a tie on the doorknob and then started pulling at the hem of her dress. “You came on to me tonight.”

Ben growled and pushed her down on the bed. “Sure, Knope. Blame it on me when you were the one who started kissing me.”

“Only because you were doing that annoying lip thing and I wanted you to stop,” Leslie said back.

She didn’t hear Ben’s response as he dived in between her legs, hooking her panties around his thumbs and pulling them down. After a few seconds, Leslie found she didn’t care what he said next, she only cared about what he was doing with his tongue.

~~

“It happened again, didn’t it?”

Leslie looked up from her book. “What happened again?”

“You slept with Ben again, didn’t you?” Ann said, scowling a little.

“What? No I didn’t. How can you possibly accuse me of that. That’s slander, Ann Perkins,” Leslie quickly snapped back.

Ann sighed. “You can back super late last night, smelling of men’s cologne and humming ‘Star Me Kitten’ by R.E.M.”

Leslie bit her lip. There really was no keeping secrets from Ann. She could sniff anything out. 

“Ok, fine, I did. But it wasn’t my fault. I was –”

“Drunk?” Ann finished off.

“Yeah. We went out after the debate competition and I had zero intentions, I even told him that. But then…I don’t know. I think he put a spell on me or something,” Leslie muttered, taking a long sip of her takeout coffee that Ann had bought her.

“Need I remind you that you said that if you slept with him again I could pinch you, because you said that you didn’t like him and that it would never ever happen again?” Ann said, moving closer to Leslie.

“No! Don’t pinch me! It wasn’t my fault,” Leslie whined, backing away from Ann. 

“So when will you admit it?” Ann asked. “It’s like your both kids, pulling at each other’s hair because you like each other.”

“I don’t like Ben,” Leslie said defiantly. “He’s a jerk. The first time we slept together he said it was a mistake. That’s all this is. A big, stupid mistake and it’s a lesson I need to learn.”

She stood up from her bed and grabbed her notebook. Carefully, she ripped a page out of it and walked over to her desk.

“I need rules. Rules to stop this from happening again. I need like an anti-Ben bible,” Leslie said, grabbing a pen.

“What kind of rules are you talking about?” Ann asked.

“You know, like letting the phone ring out if he calls or ignoring him if I see him in the dining hall, those kinds of things,” Leslie said.

She paused for a moment, thinking long and hard, then she scribbled down four bullet points and handed them to Ann.

“What do you think?”

Ann sighed as she read them. “Ok. Rule One – you are not permitted to pick up the phone if Ben calls. Rule Two – if you see Ben around campus, you are not allowed to ask him to come back to your room. Rule Three – you are not allowed to be friends with Ben. Friends leads to friends with benefits. Plus he’s a stupid jerk.”

She looked up at Leslie and rolled her eyes. “Rule four, really Leslie? In capitals?”

Leslie nodded and urged Ann to read on. She cleared her throat.

“Rule four – YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SLEEP WITH BEN WYATT. EVER AGAIN.”

Leslie glared at Ann. “You didn’t have to shout.”

“I thought it was for emphasis,” Ann said, handing the list back to Leslie. “So what are you going to do with these rules?

Leslie walked over to her pinboard and tacked the list in the middle of it. “Eat sleep and breathe them. I mean it, Ann. I’m not sleeping with him ever again.”

Ann pursed her lips. “Alright, if you say so.”

Leslie stared at the list. This was good. She had them written down in black and white. It was set in stone now. She wasn’t going to talk to, think about or sleep with Ben ever again.

It should be easy.

Right?


End file.
